A Week into CD...

So we've been in cloth diapers for a week now, and I must say I'm pleasantly surprised.  First of all, dirty diapers that would have easily been blowouts in disposable diapers were completely contained.... which means no yellow stains on their clothes!  (One dirty diaper was in a brand spankin' new white sleeping gown, it's still pristine white)  Another wonderful outcome is that we've only had minor leaks... sometimes our fault (note: always tuck the prefold completely into the cover, otherwise their clothes will wick moisture from the prefold).  I'm also thrilled to say that it really isn't too much work as opposed to regular disposable diapers.

I keep the girls in prefolds during the day and change them before every feed, unless they're fussy in which case they get an extra diaper change.  With prefolds, diaper changes have just a few extra steps from a regular diaper change.
1) Take off the cover
2) Place the prefold and liner in the diaper pail
3) Wipe (I'm using cloth wipes, too... I just spray a solution onto a little wash cloth, wipe and then toss in with the dirty diapers)
4) Put on the new prefold and Snappi in place
5) Replace the cover
It takes a few days to get the hang of it, getting used to the Snappi and getting the general setup in place, but now it feels pretty comparable to a disposable diaper change.  Wet diapers go right into the diaper pail, no fuss, no muss.  Dirty diapers get rinsed out before going into the diaper pail, since the girls are breastfed their dirty diapers are pretty tame.  People who don't have kids will probably think, "Wow, she's way too involved with baby poop."  Truth is, getting pooped ON while changing a disposable was worse than rinsing out a soiled diaper.

Anyways... at night I tend to use the AIO's and pockets, just because it's one less step in the middle of the night.  When I do laundry I sort and stuff all the diapers, so they're sitting in the changing table just ready to be put on a baby.  I've figured out already which diapers I like more than others...

Grovia AIO: I initially thought I liked the side snaps... well, I can tell you they're a pain in the butt in the middle of the night.  Plus, because of the inserts and the way the extra fabric of the snap flap folds, you have to make sure the insert is closest to the baby, and the flap is on the outside of the insert.

Charlie Banana: I said I didn't like the fact that this doesn't have a rise adjustment, but I realized while using it that the elastic in the leg is adjustable, which helps with rise.  Another thing I like about Charlie Banana is that for the price, it's a pretty good deal.  This is a $20 diaper that comes with two inserts, the smaller being good for younger babies, the larger for larger babies and doubling up for naps or overnights.  Another nice thing, these diapers are widely available and sell in packs of 6.

BumGenius 4.0: I'm torn as to whether or not I really like Aplix (velcro).  On one hand, it's much easier to put on and get a nice snug fit without having to re-adjust snaps.  On the other hand, it's an extra step to make sure the velcro is folded in on the laundry tabs.  Also, since I've only been using them for a week, I have NO idea how they wear in the long run.  I think the price is also compelling me to want to love this diaper... I mean, it's $18 a piece!

TotsBots: One of my favorites... It's a great diapers, the ease of the velcro and not having to stuff inserts after doing laundry is wonderful.  In the middle of the night this is one of the first diapers I reach for.  One downside is this seems to be a UK company, so only certain types of TotsBots are available in the US.

Swaddlebees:  Just like the TotsBots, this is a really easy to use diaper.  The only thing I have to do after laundry is make sure the insert is positioned straight inside the pocket.  I LOVE the pattern on this diaper, too... it's so cute!  However, I'm trying not to fall in love with this one, because it's a bit pricier. **Update... this is not my favorite diaper.  It takes FOREVER to dry.  Based on the price, I'm not too upset about not loving this diaper.

Flips cover:  Officially my favorite cover.  I'm immediately buying more of these covers (luckily they're on sale for Cyber Monday, buy one get one free).  They contain messes SO well and fit the girls.  I also like that they're wonderful now while I'm folding the prefolds in place, but when the girls are a little bigger I can simply place the prefold inside the cover without having to wrap it around the girls.  Double duty!

Rumparooz: No really dirty diapers yet, so I still don't know how that double gusset will clean up... but this diaper is winning me over.  It's a great fit, comes with two different sized R6 Soaker inserts AND is locally made in Colorado.  I will gladly pay two extra dollars to a company that makes their products in the good ole US of A!

Kissaluvs: This diaper doesn't fit yet... so no review.  :(

Cloth Diapering... The Beginning

So I'm on day 3 of cloth diapering... I had intended to try and cloth diaper from the start, but we were given Preemie and Newborn size disposables, plus I was dealing with the blood clots.  I tried a few times to use the cloth diapers, but when they were still under 8 pounds they leaked right out of the leg holes.  With all that behind us, we've moved on and are successfully cloth diapering.

We're using Green Mountain Diaper prefolds and a variety of covers: Flips, Econobum and Thirsties.  I can tell you right now, I already like the Flip covers much better than the other two.  The Flip covers seem to be a bit sturdier, I like the double snaps along the waistline as opposed to a single snap on the Econobum and Thirsties.

From left to right, Econobum, Flips, Thirsties

Our first overnight with cloth diapers we actually reverted back to disposables, because I knew Avery would wake up every time she felt the least bit wet... she's very sensitive to a wet diaper.  (I'm really hoping this means she'll be quick with potty training)  So after doing some research I went to JoAnn's and bought some microfleece.  I got two yards worth of fabric, which ended up totaling about $15.  I just cut it into sections that will cover their diaper area and then place the cloth diaper on like normal. 

This is the Microfleece liner (the pattern was on sale) and it basically has two benefits: 1) it has a wicking property which helps to draw the moisture away from their skin, letting them FEEL dry, and 2) it will collect the dirty messes a little better which will make cleaning a bit easier.

Now on to the NEW cloth diapers!  I've managed to acquire quite a few different types of diapers, ranging from fitted, covers, AIO's and pockets.  I took pictures of each type both closed and opened, and I'll go through each diaper and what I think of it (before actually using them).  My plan is to use the whole variety and figure out which ones I like best, and then build up a stash based on that.

 Ok, the first set... from left to right, Swaddlebees, Rumparooz and Kissaluvs

 Swaddlebees: This is an All-in-One diaper, it has a soaker insert that is sewn into the diaper, supposedly the agitator in the washer will pull out the soaker and help get it clean.  This diaper has a more natural fiber that lays against the skin.  I also LOVE the pattern, but this is one of the more expensive diapers.

Rumparooz: This is a pocket diaper that comes with two microfiber inserts that snap in all different sorts of ways.  Options are great, but I can tell this is going to be time consuming to snap the soakers to accomodate my needs.  It also has a double leg gusset, which may be good, or may be bad.  I can see the good side; it will help keep messes contained, but I can aslo see this being a huge pain to clean.

Kissaluvs: This is an All-in-One diaper that also has an attached soaker.  Just like the Swaddlebees, the soaker should get pulled out and cleaned while in the washer.  The thing I already like about the Kissaluvs is the interior color, the beige fabric will hide stains much better than bright white.

Next set, from left to right: Charlie Banana, BumGenius 4.0, Grovia AIO

 Charlie Banana:  This is a pocket diaper that comes with two soakers and has a microfleece lining.  I didn't realize when I purchased this diaper that it doesn't have a rise adjustment, so we'll see how that works with the girls.

BumGenius 4.0: This is a pocket diaper that comes with two microfiber soakers.  The interesting thing about the inserts with this diaper is that they can be snapped together to localize absorption.  Just like the Rumparooz, this may be time consuming to do after every laundry load.  This is also one of the hook and loop (velcro) diapers.  There are tabs for the closures at the top to keep the velcro from catching while in the wash.  Most of my stash is snaps, but I wanted to make sure I try some hook and loops, too.  I'm hoping I like this diaper, because it's the least expensive of the bunch.

Grovia AIO:  This is an All-in-One diaper that has one attached soaker, and an additional soaker that can be snapped in.  I like the print on this diaper, I also like the snaps on the side.  Just like the Kissaluvs, I think the cream color will be less likely to show stains.

Next batch: from left to right... Happy Heiney, Grovia Cover, Tots Bots (Thanks Holly!!)

Happy Heiney: This is a pocket diaper that didn't come with any soakers.  To use this diaper I'll have to use one of the other soakers OR insert a prefold.

Grovia Cover: This is a diaper cover, I'd have to use a Grovia soaker, which has a cover that's ok to touch baby's skin (microfiber soakers are stuffed into pockets and don't lay against the skin, the Grovia soakers have a different top layer)

TotsBots: This is an All-In-One diaper, similar to the Kissaluvs and Swaddlebees, this diaper has an attached soaker that tucks under itself to increase absorbency. 

Last batch: Kissaluvs fitted, and two Gdiapers

 Kissaluvs fitted: This is a really soft fitted diaper, it's used just like a prefold... meaning that it still requires a waterproof cover.  It's a little bulky, so I'll probably wait until the girls are a little bigger to use this one.  Also, depending on how I like the Kissaluvs AIO's, I might skip the extra step of adding a cover that the fitted requires.

Gdiapers: While these are incredibly cute covers, I'm not sure how I'll like the use of these.  I have to wait a while, as these diapers don't have a rise setting.

So that's the diaper situation up to now.  All of my pockets/AIO's are in the wash as I type and I'm ready to start trying them out.  I've already done one load of prefolds in the laundry, and it really is quite simple.  I'm going to try and have Kevin take a video of the prefold diaper routine, just so I can show how easy it is.  A few extra steps from the disposables, but it's not too much of a hassle.

Orlando Trip in December

Saturday 15th:
Land in Orlando, Dinner with the Landers

Sunday 16th:
Dinner with the Harts @5pm

Monday 17th:
Hanging out with the Landers

Tuesday 18th:
Hanging out with the Harts

Wednesday 19th:
Hanging out with the Landers

Thursday 20th:
Dinner with friends @ Red Lobster, 5pm

Friday 21st:
Hanging out with the Landers

Saturday 22nd:
Time with the Harts @ 9am
Time with the Landers @ 12pm

Sunday 23rd:
Time with the Harts' @2pm

Monday 24th:
Evening at the Landers

Tuesday 25th:
Christmas Morning with the Landers
Christmas Dinner with the Harts @ 12pm

Wednesday 26th:

Thursday 27th:

Friday 28th:
Dinner with the Harts @ 5pm

Saturday 29th:
Morning with the Landers

Avery Smiling at 10 Weeks

Deep Vein Thrombosis

About 3 and a half weeks post partum I started to ache in my hip.  Not really that big of a deal, initially, considering I had just given birth to over 10 pounds of babies, I knew my body had just gone through quite a lot of change.  I had a similar pain while pregnant, which Kevin and I both knew was my hips beginning to stretch out for labor.  So, 3 weeks after having the girls, I assumed it was my hips going back in to place.  Plus, a quick google search let me know that post-partum hip pain is pretty common.

The problem with this pain is that it didn't get any better.  After a week of stretching and walking it slowly started to get worse.  On the day my parents flew in to town it continued to get worse, in fact, after a quick trip to the grocery store I started limping.  That evening, as I sat down to pump, I propped my feet up on the ottoman and noticed that my right leg, the leg with the pain, was noticeably swollen compared to my left leg.  This immediately set off an alarm in my head... this wasn't typical post-partum hip pain.  A quick google search later and Kevin and I were off to the ER.  Every symptom led us to believe that I had a blood clot in my leg.

I've had many trips to the ER in my lifetime, nothing ever life-threatening, but I've always hated how long the wait is.  Well, when you walk into an ER in the middle of the night and tell them you think you have a blood clot in your leg, you get special treatment.  I was called back almost immediately to get me into a room, and within an hour was sent to Radiology to have an ultrasound done on my leg.  Ultrasounds to look at a baby are fun and cute, ultrasounds to look for a blood clot are not fun and very painful.  The results were back, I had a 75% occluding blood clot in my right leg.  I was discharged and placed on a high dose of Lovenox (a blood thinning shot) twice a day and had to follow up with the Coumadin clinic.

A few days passed, the pain got worse.  I was doubled over if I had to walk anywhere.  I winced if I ever had to move my right leg, and trying to fall asleep was torture.  I never imagined that a blood clot could be so painful.  For a week I was taking blood thinning shots, pain medications AND nursing newborn twins (luckily none of the medications kept me from breastfeeding).  In the middle of the night about 4 days later I started to notice a slight pain in my chest, which is something they told me to be on the lookout for.  So, in the middle of the night we headed out for yet another trip to the ER.  This time I had to have a chest CT which required a contrast dye.  Because of the dye, I wasn't able to breastfeed for 24 hours (thank heavens I had a good supply of frozen expressed milk).

On top of a blood clot in my leg, I also had two blood clots in my right lung.  I was given an option to be admitted, but the only additional care they'd provide if I were inpatient would be to handle my pain.  I decided to stay home, and had my husband and parents asking me questions around the clock to make sure things weren't getting any worse.  I now had to worry about myself on top of caring for newborns. I had appointments with family practitioners to help deal with my pain, and I had to meet with the Coumadin clinic weekly to monitor my INR level.

A few things about DVT's and blood clotting... There aren't any medications they will give me that will break up the clots.  I was given Lovenox, which is a short acting injection to thin my blood and prevent any more clots from forming.  I had to take these shots twice a day until my INR from the Coumadin was in a therapeutic level.  Again, Coumadin is only a blood thinner, it doesn't actually break up the clot, just prevents any more clots from forming.  I have to wait for my body to produce enzymes that will break up the clots.  Every week I have to go in, have my finger pricked, and have a consultation about how to take Coumadin.  It's a trial and error game... take 5mg ever day and my INR is a little high, so the following week I'll take 5mg every day except Friday and Monday, and those days I'll take 1/2 tablet.  Then I go in the next week and see if that regiment keeps my INR where it should be.  If my INR level is too low I'm at risk for developing more clots.  If my INR level is too high I'm at risk for excessive bleeding.

The two weeks since I found out about the DVT's and were the toughest two weeks of my life. Between the pain, the exhaustion of newborns and trying to balance everything on my plate right now, I feel completely drained.  I can't thank my parents enough for being here during the whole ordeal.  If it weren't for them, we would have had to take two newborns to the ER on multiple occasions in the middle of the night.  They were also generous enough to feed the girls some of my frozen milk so I could get some extra hours of sleep.  They cooked dinner and did laundry and let me sit and rest while Kevin was at work.  I am forever grateful to them.

I'll have to be on Coumadin for 6 months and I'll have to take extra precautions for the rest of my life.  Any time I'm sitting for a long period of time (like a plane ride or a long car ride) I have to make sure I get up and move periodically.  Any time I have a pain in my leg there's a good chance it's a blood clot.  If I ever get pregnant again, I'll be on the Lovenox shots for the entire pregnancy and probably two months post partum.  Although it's been extremely tough, I'm thankful the clot happened AFTER the girls arrived, there's no telling what could have happened if I had a clot while still carrying them!

Twice as nice... Twice as tough

Even before Kevin and I decided that we were ready to start a family we had already made decisions that prepared us for the day we were going to have a baby.  A year before we moved to Germany we purchased a Jetta TDI; we had low car payments and it is incredibly good on gas mileage.  Part of the decision to get the Jetta was because we needed a new car and part with a baby in mind; babies are expensive, and this car would be a good way to save in the long run.  Also, a carseat could fit in the middle of the backseat, and the trunk was HUGE.  We knew that we were going to start a family while we owned this car.

Skip forward a few years to when I found out we were having twins, one of my first thoughts was, "We have to sell the Jetta".  There was no way two infant carriers were going to fit in that small backseat, we were going to have to get an SUV.  All of a sudden the twin realizations started hitting us one by one...
TWO car seats
TWO cribs
TWO two year olds
TWO college educations
TWO weddings...
Granted, we skipped ahead, there were still a lot of stages before we got to the college tuitions or weddings, but it started to sink in that this wasn't your typical rodeo.

Then we started telling people, and the reactions only magnified our hesitations, worries and excitement.  Some people would get so excited because let's face it, twins are super cute.  Some people (usually those with a newborn or toddler) would get wide-eyed and I could tell they were thinking, "Good luck, hope you survive" or "Better you than me".  And the most bizarre reaction of all, which stupefied me every time was, "Oh my God, I always wanted twins!!"

Umm... what?  You wanted TWO at ONCE?  You wanted your pregnancy to be high risk in every single aspect?  You wanted double the sickness, double the back pain, double the risk, double the worry?  You wanted an almost guaranteed cesarian?  You wanted a delivery with THREE times the number of people watching? (This was obviously my thinking while pregnant, I hand't yet considered what two babies, in person, was going to be like)

Now skip forward to the day they were born... Twice the joy.  I didn't get to meet one new little life that I had created, I got to meet two.  Two beautiful little girls that I had grown and now were out in the world.  I didn't hear just one cry when they came out, I didn't get my finger squeezed by one tiny little hand, and I didn't get to stare at one beautiful little face... all those joyous moments I got to experience twice.  I started to realize that every single wonderful moment that a parent gets to experience and share with their children, I am going to be blessed with two of them... at once.  When they start smiling, I'm going to have two beautiful little smiling faces, and two cooing little babies.  I'm going to get to watch as they learn to interact and play with each other.  Whenever there is a moment that is wonderful, it will be twice as wonderful as a mother of twins.

On the flip side, whenever there is a moment that is tough, painful or stressful... it will be twice as tough, twice as painful and twice as stressful.

This past week girls went through a growth spurt, which means that for 3 days they were cranky and wanted to eat all the time.  Literally... All. The. Time.  I would nurse them for 30 minutes, they'd fall asleep while nursing and between picking them up and laying them down they were awake and hungry again.  At night I was surviving on 1 hour of sleep at any given interval, if they allowed me that much at all.  I was stressed, sleep deprived and ready to throw in the towel.  I kept thinking how much easier it would have been if I just had one baby... only one screaming mouth to feed, only one body to lay in a crib, only one diaper to change.  I wouldn't have to have my crazy set up, because you can nurse one baby without needing much.

All the tough times ahead: the other growth spurts, the teething, the crying fits and fussy babies... will forever be multiplied by two.  Double the spit-up, double the dirty diapers, double the mess.  Two babies that are going to scream their lungs out with immunizations.  A good possibility of two sick babies at once.  Sleepless nights are magnified with twins.  Want to know how I spent my night last night?  Here's a quick rundown:

7 PM: Feed both girls
7:30-9:30 PM: Avery is wide awake, while Reese is asleep.  I try to hold her and interact with her so she'll stay awake, but when Reese wants to sleep, she sleeps.
9:30 PM: Both girls wake up, so I get everything set up in the bedroom and ready for bedtime.
9:30-12 AM: I nurse until they fall asleep, burp them, swaddle them and attempt to lay them down.  Within 5 minutes they cry... Repeat, repeat, repeat.
12 AM: Attempt to sleep (but Reese doesn't want that to happen)
12:15-3 AM: Nurse Reese, burp her, soothe her, swaddle her, sing to her, rock her... Repeat, repeat, repeat.
3AM: Avery starts crying, nurse both girls
3:45 AM: Both girls are quiet and in the crib.
3:45-6AM: Sleep
6AM: Both girls wake up
6-6:45 AM: Nurse both girls
6:45-7:30 AM: Attempt to soothe Reese with a pacifier (which lasts 5 minutes and she cries again)
7:30-9AM: Sleep
9AM: Nurse both girls and up for the day.

Twins are exhausting.

Twins makes the tough times even tougher... but I just have to remind myself that it also makes the sweet times even sweeter.

One Month Old!

Hello, my name is Reese and I like to eat.

The girls had their 4-week checkup today and Reese turned out to be my little chunk-monster.  Reese weighed in today at a whopping 7 pounds 2 ounces!  This girl knows how to eat!  I've been telling Kevin for the last two weeks that Reese is a more aggressive eater than Avery, so it came as no surprise (on top of the fact that I pick them up all day long).  Avery weighed in at 6 pounds 12 ounces, so they're both gaining weight perfectly.

The girls have been doing really well and there aren't any health issues.  We did another carseat fit challenge and they no longer need oxygen while in carseats!  We're now on regular pediatric visits, we don't go in again until their 2-month well-baby check up (they'll also be getting their immunizations, which I personally am not looking forward to).

 Kevin and I have really started to get into a routine (well, obviously me more than him) for taking care of the girls.  Nursing twins is definitely a production, I have quite the setup of pillows and burp cloths.  Obviously by their weights, I'm doing just fine!  I have to take a moment to brag about breastfeeding though, if you're not interested then just skip down to the next section of text.  I've been trying to pump at least once a day, so I can build up a stash of stored, frozen breast milk.  It will give me freedom on the days that I want Kevin to watch the girls so I can go out on my own, or like when my parents visit, Kevin and I can go on a date.  Well, I'm very impressed with myself that in just one months time, in addition to exclusively breastfeeding twins, I have stored up 90 ounces worth of breast milk for the freezer!

The girls have started to have more periods of wakefulness, which is good an expected.  It's amazing to look at them looking at you.  They still have pretty bad eyesight, and it's funny when they're staring at your face and go cross eyed for a minute.  Their eyes are starting to get a little lighter, but the color is blue/grey.  Kevin swears they're going to have blue eyes just like me, but it's far too early to make that call just yet.  The picture above is a wide awake Reese.

Our pictures to show how big they're getting are going to be Kevin and I holding them... we each have a picture holding them while we were in the hospital, and now we have a one month picture!  This is going to be fun when they get a lot bigger!

That's all for this update... my parents are coming to visit in 2 days, and I'm sure there will be LOTS of pictures taken (and hopefully a few little trips) so the next update will be a little more exciting.

The Hypochondriac and the Twins

Most people who knew me before I was pregnant knew I had a mild case of hypochondria.  It wasn't completely unwarranted hypochondria: I was constantly on antibiotics for sinus infections, couldn't breathe without allergy meds and, for quite a few years, couldn't leave the house without my inhaler.  That being said, I had an addiction to WebMD for a while, and if I had a pain or felt ill I would find out from WebMD that it could be a rare genetic mutation, or my kidney was failing, or it was cancer.  (Seriously WebMD, is it ALWAYS cancer?)

I never let my hypochondria go completely rampant, I never went in to the doctor's office and claimed that I was dying of some rare disease, or that a mild case of stomach cramps was in fact the beginnings of Chrone's or something.  I did, however, correctly diagnose the basal cell carcinoma on my temple last year, and now I have a free pass to be overly vigilant about anything "iffy" on my skin.

Anyways, anyone who has ever had those feelings, those worries, knows that it's exhausting to care that much about nothing.  It takes a lot of effort to worry.  Part of the problem is my need to know/control things.  I like being in control, or at least the illusion of control.  So with all health issues, if I can figure out what's causing me to feel bad on my own then I'm obviously in control, and therefore happy.  I think it also has to do with fear of the unknown.  When I had the area on my temple biopsied I did a ton of Wikipedia research (because WebMD would obviously tell me it's cancer) and I actually felt better when I realized it was, in all likelihood, basal cell carcinoma.  From reading, I learned that this specific type of cancer is the type of you want to get (if you have to get skin cancer) because it doesn't spread and is easily removed.  It calmed my nerves knowing that I was 99% sure I had the most benign form of cancer, and once removed, it would be gone completely.

In January of this year, when I found out I was pregnant, I let my hypochondria slip.  I had mentioned to the doctor that I had just tested positive for two clotting disorders, Factor V Leiden mutation and a Protein S Deficiency.  The important thing to note at this point is that I have never had a clot, I was tested because of my mother's history of clotting.  Once the words "clotting disorder" was out of my mouth, I immediately had a prescription for Lovenox in my hand.  Daily injections into my abdomen to prevent blood clots.  I think in the first week it made me feel good, that I was preventing something that could negatively effect my pregnancy, but by week two I was OVER it.

Kevin and I found out at 5 and a half weeks that we were having twins.  It was that day, the moment we saw two sacs, that something short circuited in my brain.  We were trying for one baby, I peed on enough sticks to know we had achieved that, and now this German guy is telling we're having TWO at ONCE.  My need to control was spinning out of control and somehow the hypochondriac gene fell off my radar.  If I couldn't control the number of babies I was having, I obviously had no control over the entire pregnancy.  I mean, the amount of babies a woman has is not usually something you even have to think about!!

So for the remainder of the pregnancy I was amazingly worry-free.  Somehow I no longer worried about having a miscarriage, I didn't worry that my babies were going to be misshapen or disfigured, I didn't even have any genetic testing done because I knew there's nothing I can do about it anyways.  I think the best phrase to describe what happened during the pregnancy is "Let go, and let God".  I had to give up control and just let things happen the way they were meant to happen.  If I had one, or two babies that had Downs Syndrome then that was my lot in life, to take care of two special needs babies. If I were to go into labor extremely early then I was meant to be a NICU mommy.  I managed to change my hypochondria into destiny.

Now that the girls are here I am thankful they cured me of hypochondria.  It would be far too tiring to always worry about if they're breathing, if they're growing, if they're upset about something.  Somehow deep down I know that they will let me know if something is wrong.  We've had a few scares where one of the girls will inhale some spit up, and it's a sound that is nothing like a hunger-cry.  It's a bone chilling scream and forces you up to help.  But a quick suction with the bulb syringe and a few minutes of burping and everything is fine once again.  I think those moments are also necessary for the parents, once I see that she's OK, I have this amazing feeling of, "I can do this"!  These two little girls depend on Kevin and I for everything, it's an immense amount of trust, and every day I feel a little more in control of providing everything they're ever going to need.

Now on to pictures... I took some "professional" newborn pictures of the girls. :)  Here are the ones I have edited, I have a few more that still need editing, but I'm so tired that you'll all just have to wait!

Little Miss Avery 

My Sweet Reese

 Avery on the left, Reese on the right

Avery didn't want her head propped on her hands, but Reese didn't mind 

Models in the making...

12 Days Old

Reese and Avery are almost two weeks old!  My mom left yesterday, so we've been on our own for 24 hours now.  On his way home from taking my mom to the airport Kevin picked up some furniture from Ikea, and we now have a complete bedroom.  Before yesterday our mattress was sitting on the floor, in addition to a broken box spring that sagged in the middle because of our move (Kevin was gracious enough to take that side of the bed).  So we've finally moved in to our own bedroom, and since we moved the co-sleeper in, too, it was the first night the whole family slept together since leaving the hospital.

I have to start out by saying how thankful I am to our friends and family who have helped out.  My mom was a lifesaver, running to the grocery store, cooking dinner and getting the house organized.  After a 3-day stay in the hospital plus more than a day of labor, everything fresh in our kitchen had spoiled.  Had my mom not arrived, I hate to say we would have survived with Kevin making frequent trips to the local fast food joints, which obviously isn't ideal.  We also had great friends, Lindsay and Chris, stop by with a hot meal and two frozen meals that just need to be reheated.  Now that I'm the post-partum phase, I cannot stress enough how amazing a cooked meal is that doesn't require any more work than turning on an oven.  In addition to that, we were mailed a care package from the wonderful Aunt Sharona which consisted of a Honey Baked Ham, roasted turkey, green bean casserole and potatoes augratin.  It's wonderful that at least for another week I don't have to worry about grocery shopping or planning out dinner.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The girls have been doing exactly what newborns do: they sleep, then they cry and eat, then they make a mess of a diaper and go right back to sleep.  For the time being, they're making a messy diaper just about every time they eat, which is every 3 hours.  For a few days Reese would trick me, she'd have a messy diaper, which I would change, and within 60 seconds of putting on a new diaper she'd mess up the new one.  Luckily we haven't had one of those in a few days.  I'm happy to report that I've been nursing them without having to supplement with formula for over a week.  They're having plenty of wet and dirty diapers, and I wouldn't be surprised if they more than gain back their birthweight by the next pediatrician's appointment.  Right now is tough with their feeding schedule, but I'm patiently waiting for the longer stretches between feedings at night... Two four-hour stretches of sleep would be perfect!

I know you're not supposed to count your chickens before they hatch, but we were successful in flipping their cluster feeds to the daytime.  Reese and Avery would wake up about 2am-5am every hour on the hour wanting to nurse for a week straight.  We kept them awake and were actually able to shift it up so now their cluster feeding happens between 5pm-8pm.  Basically anytime they show signs of being hungry in between those hours, they nurse.  No if, ands, buts or binkies.

The girls really are as cute as can possibly be.  I know every parent thinks their children are the most beautiful things, it's natural, and who would say the person they created isn't precious?!  But I honestly can't get over how gorgeous these little girls are!  We've been hearing from family that everyone thinks they're identical, but Kevin and I can tell them apart, easily.  The only problem is keeping it straight in your brain which name you're saying in relation to which child.  I'll be holding Reese, knowing full well that I'm holding Reese, and I'll ask Kevin if he can change Reese's diaper while I'm intending to say Avery.  Everyone with multiple kids has this problem... sometimes you just blurt out whatever name is on the tip of your tongue.  As they get a little older I'm convinced that more people will see the differences that Kevin and I see, but for the meantime, I guess they do look pretty similar (they are twins, after all).

Gracie has been doing very well adjusting to the new members of the family.  She's a little attention deprived, but Kevin's been trying extra hard to make up for it.  She is staying true to her breed, and has already become protective of the girls.  One little wimper, a hiccup, or sneeze and Gracie has to find out what the issue is.  She's very gentle around them and while I'm nursing them will come up and stiff the tops of their heads.  Eventually, when the girls are older, she'll have two playmates that are going to drive her nuts!

I've been doing really well since leaving the hospital, I actually forget at times that I had "major surgery".  While in the hospital I will admit that I was a little depressed how large my tummy still was, I probably looked like I did at the 7-month pregnant mark.  Delivering almost 11 pounds of baby, I was expecting a more prominent difference than what I was seeing in the mirror.  I had some issues with swelling in my ankles, too, which is totally normal post-partum.  My toes were plump little Vienna Sausages, I actually had creases on my ankles, and it was very uncomfortable.  The top of my foot would jiggle when I walked and I joked that my cankles had cankles.  Now almost two weeks post-partum I'm really impressed with the results.  I probably look about 5-months pregnant now (I'll take any improvement I can) and my feet are completely back to normal.  I'll take a picture eventually, but for now we'll just stick with pictures of the girls...

Avery with her eyes open and sleepy Reese behind her 

Grandma holding her "Twincess" granddaughters

Once again, wide eyed Avery and sleepy Reese 

 Reese doesn't know why she's awake, but Avery is asleep and happy

 Avery's not so sure about bathtime

 Reese wasn't too happy about it, either

They both fell asleep quickly once their bath was over!

Momma-bear Gracie gently checkin in on the girls

The Birth Story

It all started on Saturday afternoon... I was 35 weeks and 2 days pregnant and Kevin and I were out running around getting the last few things for the nursery.  After a waddle around Hobby Lobby and Lowe's Kevin quickly realized my back was hurting and I needed to get home, so off we went.  On our way home we decided to get some food, which of course started the biggest battle in any relationship, "I don't know, what do you want to eat? No, I don't want that."  Well, after about 15 suggestions I finally told Kevin that he needed to go wherever he wanted, because I wasn't very hungry and I was getting tired.  He ended up stopping at KFC, and while in the drive through asked what I wanted.  The strangest request left my lips, "Ice".  That's all I wanted, just a big 'ole cup of ice.  I was so content the whole way home just chomping down big chunks of ice, not thinking twice of all the stories I had read about women in labor craving ice.

Once home I had one last load of laundry for the girls to complete, so I got up so I could unload the dryer and start folding and putting away their clothes (nesting was in FULL swing at this point).  Once I had the laundry basket full of clothes I stood up and felt what I never thought I'd actually feel, my water broke.  It took a few minutes to register, but sure enough, this was it!  I called out to Kevin that my water broke and he went into Daddy-mode.  Immediately, he started putting our go-bags in the car, grabbing pillows and getting things together; his mental checklist was screaming!  I, however, was weirdly calm, possibly in denial.  A few days earlier I thought my water had broken, which resulted in an embarrassing trip to the L&D unit in which I was told I had just peed myself... oh the joys of pregnancy!  I decided I wanted to take a shower before we left for the hospital, I had read enough to know I had some time before I was in active labor and also knew it might be a few days before I got a chance to shower again.  Boy, am I thankful I took those few extra minutes to shower!  Showered and ready, we headed to Evans Army Hospital around 8:30 pm.

Kevin was so excited that the second we got to the gate he blurted out to the guard that I was in labor, and he was about to be a dad!  We parked in the ER section and Kevin rushed in to get a wheel chair while I slowly waddled in.  

Up in L&D they were already prepared for me because Kevin had called ahead to let them know we were coming.  It's amazing how prepared everyone was, within 5 minutes of being wheeled into L&D I was hooked up to an IV, meds were ordered and an ambulance had been called (Evans doesn't have a NICU so anyone in labor under 36 weeks is automatically transferred to Memorial Hospital).  Not the most flattering picture, but it's so wonderful that we have just about everything documented!  This is me getting monitored at Evans while waiting for all the paperwork for my transfer to Memorial.

My first ambulance ride (lights AND sirens!) was because of something good, not something scary.  I actually had pretty funny conversations with the medics on the way.  I started feeling contractions while in the ambulance, so I had to alert everyone from then on whenever I felt a contraction start and end.  Once at Memorial I was hooked up to monitors and the waiting began.  The first nurse at Memorial was such a sweet woman, Joy, who made my initial experience really pleasant.  Contractions started increasing in intensity and frequency, just like they should.  Contractions were unpleasant, Kevin would always make comments based on the faces I was making, whether it was a good one or a bad one.  About 3am I started to get the shakes.  I was handling the contractions pretty well, but once the shakes started I was really uncomfortable.  The nurse informed me that they wanted to start Pitocin, the medication that basically forces my body to more active labor.  At this point I was only 2 cm dilated and there wasn't much progress from hour to hour.  Between the shakes and starting Pitocin, I decided I wanted the epidural.

Once the epidural was placed, I was able to get some sleep and wait for the medications to do their jobs.  We slept, we called family, I ate chicken broth.  Waiting for active labor to start was agonizing, every few hours the nurses would check, and I would be disappointed to find out that I had only progressed maybe 1cm.  Hours passed, we moved on to the 26th, and kept on waiting.  The OB on call that weekend was Dr Alanis (I still remember a conversation while in the OR about how to spell his last name, he replied "like Alanis Morrisette", to which the tech responded that he absent-mindedly wrote "Morrisette" instead of "Alanis").  He was a wonderful Doctor, really tried to do everything in his power to make a vaginal delivery possible.  Both girls had been head down since 21-weeks and everything appeared to be in the perfect situation for a vaginal delivery.  Unfortunately, my body just wasn't responding to the Pitocin and I couldn't get past 6cm.  After 31 hours of labor, through some tears and coaxing, I finally decided to go ahead with the C-section.  We had literally done everything we could to progress the labor, and it was time to call it quits.

At some point I would love to have Kevin write his own version of what happened in the OR, because I was pretty out of it.  This is how I remember things happening...  They wheeled my into the OR within 10 minutes of making the decision to do the C-sec.  I was tired, I had dry mouth, and the shakes had returned.  They had to give me more medications to fully numb my lower half, which dropped my blood pressure a little and caused a lot of nausea.  I actually threw up on the table, which was TONS of fun to do while shaking uncontrollably and in front of the 12 people in the OR.

Kevin finally was allowed into the OR, and it was very calming to see him.  He stayed by my head and kept trying to relax me.  Between the hormones, anxiety, fear and medications, I was probably the worst C-sec patient this poor Dr had ever dealt with.  I was fighting the restraints because of the shakes, I had dry mouth and demanded a wet washcloth to at least wet my mouth, and I continued to dry heave (which has to be tough while they were performing major surgery on my abdomen).  There was so much going on, but it only took a few minutes before I heard the most wonderful sound I had ever heard.  All the shakes, all the fear, all discomfort disappeared when I heard my daughter crying for the first time and I immediately started sobbing.  Kevin left my side to cut the cord and take pictures, and then it was on to the second baby... again, her crying was the most amazing sound I'd ever heard.

Because they were preemies, the nurses took their time to check their APGAR scores, which were 8 and 9!  Kevin brought Baby A over to show me, and we both knew instantaneously, this was Reese.  I remember thinking to myself that Kevin was showing me a doll, not a real baby, she was just so beautiful.  I kissed her head, cried some more and waited for Baby B to be brought over.  We had a few names picked out for Baby B, and Kev and I were on very different pages about what her name should be.  When he brought her over, I asked what he thought she looked like, and he said ever-so-gently, "She just looks like an Avery".  And there we had it, our daughters, Reese and Avery, born healthy and screaming at 1:28am and 1:29am on August 27th.

 Reese McCarty Landers, 5 lbs 6 oz, 17 inches long

 Avery Hart Landers, 5 lbs 4 oz, 17 inches long

 Meeting my beautiful little Reese

Meeting my beautiful little Avery

The girls were taken to the NICU, which was standard for a 35 week preemie.  We were told it was precautionary, not emergent.  The doctors told Kevin they were headed up so he could follow along, and this is one of the biggest reasons I love my husband, he told the doctors that since the babies were healthy and fine he wanted to stay with me until he knew I would be ok.  Like I said, I was the worst C-sec patient ever.  I was crying, throwing up, shaking and miserable and Kevin was worried about me.  He followed me to the recovery room and stayed with me until they were able to get me stable.  Once I passed out from the medications Kevin went up to the NICU to see the girls.  This will forever be the one thing I hated about the delivery, I had to wait an excruciating 8 hours until I could hold them.

 Reese

 Avery

A very proud daddy holding his two little girls

I was wheeled up to the Mother&Baby unit at about 4am where they gave me some pain meds and Kevin was finally able to get some sleep.  I had to wait until 9am to try and get out of bed, and you'd better believe at 9am sharp I called the nurses in to help me stand up!  I had TWO driving reasons to get out of bed, and I was in the NICU as early as the doctors would let me.  I was able to hold Reese first, she was just finished getting bathed, and they still had to check up on Avery.  Holding her was amazing, she was so fragile, so pretty, and all mine.  I actually got to feed Avery (we opted for donated breast milk until I attempted breastfeeding) and it made my heart melt!

Holding Reese for the first time!

I'm proud to say that I only made one trip to the NICU, not because I'm a horrible mom who didn't want to visit her babies, but because her babies were so amazing that they were released from NICU after only 12 hours.  The next time I saw my girls was when they wheeled them into my room!  

The next few days in the hospital literally flew by.  The girls had to eat every 3 hours, doctor's orders because of their size, so more often than not they were wheeled into my room so I could breastfeed.  A few nights we just let the nursery feed them so I could get a few extra hours of sleep, but for the most part they stayed with us.  Kevin and I took laps around the Mother&Baby unit, to help my recovery and swelling.  It never got old to see the other new parents, overwhelmed already by their own babies, react to seeing Kevin and I wheel around one baby a piece!  The nurses in the Mother&Baby unit were so in love with our girls, and they were so excited because they rarely get twins, usually they stay in the NICU.  Everyone at Memorial was wonderful, all the nurses who helped us and cared for our girls were sweet and caring.  

 My sweet little girls in the nursery.  The blankets and hats are donated, and so cute!

 Reese

 Avery

 Holding the whole world...

Daddy got some snuggle time while we were in the hospital

On the day we were getting discharged we had one minor hiccup.  As required for their size, both girls had to have a carseat fit test.  They put both babies in their carseats (ours are rated for 4 lbs and up) and monitor their oxygen for 1 hour.  Unfortunately, their little bodies just couldn't hold them up straight enough to keep them getting enough oxygen.  I never got the feeling it was a life or death situation (after all, they were still releasing us) so I didn't get too worried.  We left the hospital with some oxygen tanks and the little cannula's in their noses.

I have to admit, leaving the hospital was terrifying.  I started crying as we pulled out of the parking lot, knowing full and well that now Kevin and I were responsible, on our own, for these two little babies.  My whole perception of the world shifted the moment they were born and now the sun was too bright, the other cars were too close, and the speed limit on the interstate was way too fast.

Once home, the fun began.  Kevin and I keep track of everything in a notebook, feedings and diaper changes.  The tricky thing with twins, is that we have to keep track of who's doing what and when.  Sure, we had a poopy diaper after the 2am feeding, but who's was it?  And because I'm breastfeeding I have to keep track of which side each of them feeds on, and for how long!  I knew to expect lots of diapers and bottles and spit up, but I never anticipated that my notebook would be such a vital tool.

Right now the girls are doing amazing.  They're still feeding every three hours, sometimes more often if they let us know they're hungry.  They're having wet and poopy diapers at almost every feeding (which is important because it lets me know they're eating enough).  We're using disposable diapers for the time being, they're just not big enough for the cloth diapers yet, so until they gain a pound or two we'll be using preemie disposables.  I will say, these first few days makes me realize just how pricey diapering with disposables can be... Reese can go through 3 diapers in one feeding!

I'm currently breastfeeding both of them, and since we got home from the hospital, have only had to supplement them with formula a few times.  I am really proud of myself, because the first day home, when they were 4 days old I attempted to tandem feed for the first time.  Not only did they both latch, they both ate for 20 minutes and fell asleep soundly afterwards.  It's a very satisfying feeling knowing that I'm providing enough milk to fill their little bellies and help them grown.  I joked with Kevin that I'm good at growin' babies and feedin' babies, it's the birthin' part I'm not so good at.

Right now the girls are officially one week old.  My mother came out to visit and help, and she has been an absolute life saver!  For any of my friends that are too proud to accept help as a new parent, my best advice is to SUCK IT UP!  Not only will you actually need the help, you'll want it, and a mother is a great help because she's a sounding board (and she gives out compliments freely).  Hearing that you're a "natural" only makes you feel more confident in your own abilities.  The other benefit is that other people will love your babies, too... so let them!  It warms my heart every time I see my mother fawning over my little girls.  I makes me realize that she loved me the same way I love them, and the cycle will only continue... someday I'll love the children that my little girls have.

 My wonderful family

 Grandma holding her granddaughters

Avery on the right and Reese on the left